


For a Love Eternal

by RoseAmaranth



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, But he's an asshole for a reason, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Death, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Hurt Stephen Strange, Hurt Tony, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IronStrange, M/M, Parent Tony Stark, Pepper loves Ironstrange too, Pining, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sad Peter Parker, Sad Tony Stark, Sad with a Happy Ending, Stephen wants Tony to be happy, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wong & Tony Stark Friendship, stephen is an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 10:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19810636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseAmaranth/pseuds/RoseAmaranth
Summary: Tony seeks the mysterious Doctor Strange out after the battle with Thanos and his troops. It doesn't go how he hopes it will, but when does it ever?-“What did you do?”“Saving Tony the second time required more from me than simply breaking an ancient oath.” Wong glared at him.“What did you do?”





	For a Love Eternal

**Author's Note:**

> So...don't ask me where this even came from. I literally wrote this in about four hours one night instead of sleeping. Sometimes, when something hits you, it just has to come out.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Tony crashed into the sanctum, searching for the wizard doctor who saved his life, the universe, and Peter. The one who orchestrated everything that led them to the moment where Thanos was dust on a battlefield and everyone was brought back from the Soul Stone. The one who kept Tony from dying on that same field. He ducked into room after room, searching out galaxy blue eyes and a red cape. Wong offered him direction, so Tony finally stumbled upon him studying a book by a fireplace.

“There you are, Stranger. I've been running all over this place looking for you.” Stephen looked up and Tony's stomach swooped when those eyes met his. The haunted look was long gone, the guilt from the battlefield washed away and leaving exhaustion in its wake. Tony spent five long years thinking of two things: the anguish in those eyes and the way Peter clutched his hand before he vanished before his eyes. Those two things got him through to where they were now.

“Stark. What brings you here?” Tony blinked and a chair was across from Stephen, for him presumably. He settled into it and smiled at Stephen. He hadn't really realized how much he missed seeing the wizard until he was gone. Even in their short acquaintance, Tony remained affected. Was it because Stephen was such a striking person, both in appearance and in personality? Was it having him ripped so suddenly from his life, much like the guardians and Peter? Was it something about Stephen that bonded them instantly? Was it the traumas of the world ending? He wasn't really sure, but he did know he was messed up during those five years, and Stephen was a large part of it. 

Seeing him again only deepened the hole he was in.

“Well, the battle is done, the Avengers are working on their new lives, and I thought maybe paying a visit to the man behind it all would be nice. I haven't seen you since the hospital. And that was a month ago, Strange.” Stephen closed his book, and for the first time Tony noticed how absolutely _exhausted_ he looked. Like the life was seeping out of a wound he couldn't see.

“Are you okay, man?” The wizard waved him off.

“It's nothing. Anyway, I was nothing more than a man who knew the ending and the path to get there. Hardly worth a visit from the very busy Tony Stark.” Modest didn't suit the wizard. Not when the universe had him to thank for not being torn to shred. He gently disagreed.

“Come on, man. Take credit where credit is due. Without you, I'd be dead on Titan. Or out on the battlefield. Thanos would have wiped out everyone as he planned, only there would have been no team of Avengers working to find a way to undo it. We wouldn't have hope, Stephen. You did more than just pick a future and send us on our way. So, I wanted to thank you. For my life. Peter's. And the world.” Stephen sighed and sat back in his chair, examining Tony for a few moments.

“You don't need to feel like you owe me anything. I saved your life simply because the world needed you alive. It still does. Your family needs you.” Tony blinked at the cold edge to Stephen's voice, the clinical way he recalled the events like it was a show he saw on the television. Part of Tony figured that was the case, but a larger, maybe more _romantic_ part felt there was something more to it. That Stephen maybe cared about him. That he sacrificed his oath to the Time Stone because he didn't want Tony to die.

Yeah, he was clearly romanticizing the events of the Infinity War...

The thing was, standing alone the events were typical of superheroes. Sacrifice everything for the greater good. And Stephen had even said as much on the spaceship, though it was the lives of Tony and Peter he was willing to let go of it in order to protect the world. But, when he had really thought back to the moments leading up to the Stephen saving him from the final snap that ended Thanos' reign, well, it felt like there could have been more. From the banter they shared the moment they met, to the slap on his ass for leaning on the stupid cauldron, to the wink on the streets of New York, and then all the time they spent getting to know each other on the ship to Titan. He thought he felt something, enough so he broke things off with Pepper once he returned home.

Had he been wrong?

“Oh, well, I know that. I just thought, maybe there was a little more to it than that.” Stephen's eyes sharpened at his words, and he came to lean forward in his chair, elbows resting on his thighs.

“Why?” Tony shuffled in his seat, sufficiently embarrassed from his assumptions and childish daydreaming. He should have known better. Now the wizard would find out and laugh him out of the sanctum. Peachy.

The problem was, somehow, he had kinda fallen for the magic doctor. Over those five years, his heart and mind battled to understand what was going on, which was part of the reason he broke it off with Pepper. She was such an amazing woman, and he still loved her, but something about the mystical wizard of Manhattan grabbed him and wouldn't let him go. For five years, he remembered and wondered. What would happen if he got Peter and Stephen back? What would happen when he was able to hug them and be sure they were real?

That it wasn't a sick dream.

Speaking of dreams, he often dreamed of the wizard. It was jarring at first, but he eventually sought them out during the more lonely and daunting parts of the five years. He even visited the sanctum on a couple occasions, under the guise of asking Wong questions to help him figure out this Time Stone plan. He wondered if Wong saw through it.

Stephen was still waiting, flames flickering and reflecting in his stunning blue eyes.

“Well, um, I just- It's not important anymore. I was clearly wrong. I'm sorry to trouble you.” The wizard narrowed his eyes before suddenly reaching out and pressing his palm against Tony's head. Memories flashed before his eyes vividly, like he was reliving them, and then they were gone. Tony jerked back, curling away from where Stephen was studying him with a twist to his mouth. He knew Stephen was powerful, but he never thought that magic of his would be used against him. He felt violated, terrified, and beyond hurt.

“How- how could you-” Stephen shook his head, loathing clear on his face.

“You're far too trusting, Stark. And far too naive. I don't know what to tell you other than you are interpreting moments between us incorrectly. This isn't a romance novel. This isn't a movie. You are you and I am me. There was nothing other than having to fight Thanos keeping us together. I thought a man of science such as yourself would have better control of childish emotions such as what you've experienced.” It would be less painful if Stephen just ripped his heart out and stomped it into the ground in front of him. He threw away Pepper for a wink and a pretty face. Stephen was cold and he abused magic when he wanted to. Tony couldn't trust that.

“You're right. I'm sorry for my mistake. I promise you won't have to deal with me anymore. Goodbye, Strange.” He hurried from the room before the tears gathering in his eyes could fall and further embarrass him. Of course it was too good to be true, and he tossed Pepper away for it. For a dream. A lie.

He crash landed on the roof of Stark Tower and bypassed everyone gathered to celebrate the one month anniversary of the defeat of Thanos. He slammed the door and crawled into bed, the new arm he was still getting accustomed to jerking painfully. He nearly shouted for whoever it was to leave him along, but he found it was Peter and Pepper.

“Mister Stark, what happened?” He curled his knees to his chest and laid his head on them, allowing them to comfort him with gentle touches and soothing voices. He didn't want to talk about it, he probably never would, but it was really nice to know there were people who still cared about him.

Hell, he didn't need Stephen. He had a whole family and a team. He had people who loved him.

-

Months went by since Tony's visit to the sanctum. Stephen buried himself into his work, training harder than he ever had before and losing himself in spells. Wong never tried to talk to him about it, which was both a relief and hurtful. He supposed after the show he put on with Tony, he wouldn't want to cross himself either. 

It may have seemed easy to crush Tony, to scare him away from Stephen and his life, but in reality he was hurting inside. Using magic on the kind man was especially difficult to deal with, but Stephen knew it was necessary. Tony wouldn't fear being near him without a reason. 

When Tony's engagement to Pepper made headlines, the happy couple kissing for the cameras and then smiling like they had the whole world right there, Wong finally sat him down. Stephen didn't want to think about anything other than his responsibility as a Sorcerer Supreme, but Wong left no room for argument.

“I have let you sulk long enough. You need to talk about it, Stephen. It will start to affect your magic if you don't release it.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Wong was right, of course, but he didn't want to pick that wound.

“I saw he has become engaged to Miss Potts.” It was a place to start, a way to ease them down the dark road Stephen continued to run from as months passed. He turned to look out the window. How dare the sky be so blue, the world so happy and free while he was cracking.

“Yeah. I saw that too. I'm happy for them.”

“Are you?” That brought Stephen's gaze back to Wong's firm but caring eyes, He finally dropped his barriers and sagged his shoulders.

“It's my own fault, Wong. I scared him away. I don't deserve to be jealous or angry. Yeah, it doesn't feel great to see him happy with someone else, but he's _happy_. That makes me happy.” Wong summoned tea for them.

“Why did you do it? That is the only thing that has troubled me. If you knew he cared about you, and you certainly did care about him the way he believed, why did you make it so he wouldn't even want to be friends with you? From what I understood, he broke up with Pepper before. There was nothing in the way.” Stephen levitated the teacup, hands shaking too much for him to attempt to lift it.

“A few reasons. For one, he deserves someone who can really be there for him. As Sorcerer Supreme, my total commitment must be to my sorcery. There isn't room for romance. Not even something casual. Pepper has been there for him from the beginning. They love each other.”

“He loved you.” Stephen quickly wiped at a tear falling down his cheek.

“That was different. A love born of an apocalypse that is no more is not real love, Wong. He saw me as something more than who I am. He saw me as a savior. _His_ savior. His love for Pepper, with her, is the love he needs.” Wong shook his head.

“Don't you think that was up to him to decide?” Bats, the basset hound who could talk they adopted, trotted into the kitchen and wagged at Stephen. Bats knew more of the struggles Stephen had after saving Tony's life than anyone else.

“He was blinded by trauma. By the fact I saved his life twice and gave him his family back. It would be a clouded judgment. He was already willing to throw something good away for the slight chance of a relationship with me. I couldn't let him do it, Wong. But it isn't just that.” He carefully stood and pulled down part of his robe, exposing sickly pale skin and what looked like bruises and burns scaring his skin. Wong jumped up to examine the skin closer.

“What did you do?”

“Saving Tony the second time required more from me than simply breaking an ancient oath.” Wong glared at him.

“ _What_ did you _do_?” Stephen refilled his tea and sat once more, far more unsteady than only a month ago. _This_ was why he really needed Tony to move on; to forget all about him. Stephen loved him, wanted more than anything to give Tony what he wanted, but Stephen was dying. Yes, he believed Tony's love was founded on things that would eventually fade with time, leaving him resentful an full of regret, but he would probably die before that could even have happened. Meaning Tony would have been left alone very suddenly, and would have become deeply heartbroken.

“He was so close to death. His soul was ready to leave his body when I finally got him to the sanctum. Through some studies I was conducting prior to Thanos, I discovered a way to save someone's life when they were in his condition. I knew a way to keep him from slipping.” He paused to drink his tea, Bats nosing at his leg and gazing up at him with wide brown eyes. Sad eyes.

“I performed a spell that allowed me to take what was killing him and transfer it to myself. I knew with magic, the gamma radiation wouldn't kill me nearly as quickly as it was Tony, but I had to use one of those forbidden spells you always lecture me about. I had to call upon the Dark Dimension.” Wong sat back, face slack an eyes unfocused. Stephen's weak grip tightened around his cup. “I don't regret it, Wong.”

“Of course you don't. Stephen, your reasons for not letting Stark love you, about traumas and misplaced emotions, could apply to you too. You are dying for a man you met through war. Loss. Tragedy. Same as him. Perhaps your judgment too was jaded.” Stephen shook his head. This was different because he didn't fall for Tony during five long years of loneliness and pain. Or after having Tony save his life in romantically heroic ways. No. Stephen fell for the man long before.

“It's not the same, Wong. Tony came to love me after dealing with guilt and loss for five years. His brain was dealing with so much distress, it clung to the last faces he could vividly remember from that time on Titan; mine and Peter's. Not to mention how I saved his life twice. He mistakes the emotions he feels for loving me. It isn't the same at all.” Wong crossed his arms, unimpressed. Unconvinced. 

“I, on the other hand, knew before I disappeared. I fell for him when I was going through the possible futures in the Time Stone. I got to know him that way, had the chance to experience all the sides of his person – good and bad – and found that I liked it more than I should. I grew attached. I fell in love. My actions that day, on the battlefield, were selfish and I now pay the price for using magic that way.” Stephen paused to drink more tea, his throat already dry and raw from the brief conversation. His time was running out.

“I was afraid he had somehow made the mistake of falling for me, at least in his mind, when I found him on the battlefield shortly after stepping through the portals. His words were curt and to-the-point, but his face was an open book to me. Still is, which is how I knew exactly why he was coming to see me that night I turned him away.” Exhaustion clawed at his being, demanding he close his eyes and rest, but it was barely afternoon. 

“Stephen, you are the new Sorcerer Supreme. You are without someone to take your place. What is Earth going to do without its mystical protector?” Thankfully, Stephen actually looked into that.

“There is a man by the name of Jericho Drumm. He has been revealed to me by the Eye of Agamotto to be the one who will replace me. I will contact him and you can help him through the transition of becoming the Sorcerer Supreme and the defender of this sanctum.” Now Wong's mask cracked, sadness apparent in his eyes.

“I see you have this all figured out, Stephen.: He touched his friend's arm and tried to smile. He tried to reassure Wong that it would all be okay, but it wasn't easy when his strength was fading. 

“I know I did the right thing. Not only did I save him out of love, I did it for the world's protection. He has nearly single-handedly saved the world from mass destruction countless times. He is needed by this place. I also spared him for Miss Potts' and Peter Parker's sakes. They have experienced enough pain in their lives; losing Tony was just too much for me to allow. Especially for that poor kid. Between the two of us, Tony is universally needed more. I have no family. I have someone who can easily replace me in my duties as sorcerer and protector; someone who even seems better than myself. Things have worked out perfectly.” Wong's eyes were now glistening and Bats was pawing at Stephen. He knew he hurt many people during his life, and he would continue to do so up until his death. It was his legacy.

This was truly the best thing he could do. For _everyone_ involved. 

“What about those who care about you, Stephen? You may think of yourself as this lone wolf, but you do have people who love you; who care about you and don't want to see you go. I can think of at least three off the top of my head. Four, including Bats.” Stephen doubted anyone aside from the two he was confiding in would actually miss him. Maybe Christine, if she found out, but otherwise he was going to fade away without being missed. 

Besides, how could he have lived with himself if he let Tony die when he knew it was possible to save him? How could he take Peter's father figure away? How could he take away the husband Miss Pepper Potts deserved? The Avenger the world needed? Tony was so important, the Time Stone itself showed him the only possible win was to sacrifice the stone for Tony's life. So he could go on to unsnap everyone and save the day.

Yes. Tony's life far outweighed everything Stephen could ever do, and he was okay with that fact. His sacrifice was worth it, even if it meant hurting people he loved.

-

Tony stared up at the doors of the sanctum. A year nearly passed since the last time he was there; a year since he had his heart shattered by the ruling wizard protector of Earth. Stephen never reached out to him after that day, not even when he announced his engagement at a press conference, so he couldn't imagine why he was being summoned now. He knocked on the door and was surprised to find Peter inside, eyes red and swollen.

Was he _crying_?

“Pete? What's going on?” He followed the teen inside, finding Wong and a woman he didn't recognize waiting for them in the foyer. It seemed suspiciously like they were in a state of mourning.

“Mister Stark, welcome. This is Christine Palmer. She's a friend of Stephen's.” They shook hands, Tony noticing right away she had also been crying at some point. His heart stuttered in his chest. The only person missing was Stephen himself...

“What's going on?” Wong, usually so direct and unabashed about everything, merely shuffled in place. 

“I called on friends of Stephen's because he....wanted to see everyone.” A rage unlike one he felt before swelled inside his chest, nearly enough to send Wong flying across the room. 

“Don't _bullshit_ me, Wong. Why are we here? Why did you call me of all people when that asshole hasn't bothered to reach out in almost a year? _Why_?!” Peter sniffled next to him, jerking him out of his rant and tripping his heartbeat again.

“He's dying.” The world around him dropped out in a _whoosh_ of air as Wong's words registered. _Dying_? But..how? A rock sank into his stomach and he felt like turning tail and running out the door, never to be seen by them again. Maybe flying until his suit ran out of power and stranded him somewhere far from New York.

“D-Dying?” The girl, Christine, nodded. 

“I checked him over, just to be sure. He's aware but fading. He has maybe another hour or so.” He glared at her.

“Wait, are you a doctor? Why aren't you in there saving him? Why are we all just standing here talking when he's _alone_?” He pushed past everyone and stormed up the stairs, Wong's voice directing him to the room Stephen was lying in. When he pushed inside, his heart instantly crumpled at the sight.

The room itself was mostly dark, save for a little sunlight shimmering in through the sheer curtains, and spotless. Nearly empty. The bed took up most of the space, though Stephen barely occupied much of the offered blankets and pillows. Tony hurried to his side, eyes watering and something bitter and acrid dumping into his blood, filling his mouth until he was sure he would be sick. 

Stephen was pale, so so pale, and barely breathing. He seemed to be sleeping, so Tony only reached out carefully and allowed his fingertips to just brush the sunken skin of his handsome face- the hollowed cheeks and neatly trimmed facial hair. Tony's legs collapsed and he dropped onto the bed, scrambling for Stephen's hand to grip in his. He searched for any sign of life.

There. A faint but steady pulse. Relief washed through him, bringing the clammy hand to his mouth and he let himself cry. Really cry. This was all so unfair. There Tony was, happy and healthy, soon-to-be-married, while Stephen was here dying. All this time. Tony hated a dying man. He should have pushed back, should have made Stephen accept Tony in his life like Tony always wanted. It was too late for anything more than tears and so much regret.

He still loved him, that much was clear. Even after the pain Stephen put him through, the months he spent slowly healing and trying to move past it, and the time he spent waiting for Stephen to tell him it was just a cruel joke. He had tried valiantly for a while to bury the emotions tied to the sorcerer. He pretended that just thinking of Stephen didn't make his heartache, or when he looked at Peter's openly concerned eyes, but there he was sobbing over the dying wizard like a lover losing their beloved. It was pathetic and rather stupid, but he spent enough time ignoring his feelings. 

Blue eyes blinked open at a snail's pace and then his brows were furrowing. Tony's heart pounded at the sight. He was awake, still coherent enough to express himself in his facials. He held onto the hand tighter, though always careful not to squeeze too tightly, and pressed his lips to the fingers once more. Those beautiful, talented fingers. Tears began blurring out Stephen's face, and he blinked fiercely through them.

“Tony?” Even his voice was weak, barely able to utter Tony's name. Still, that voice caressed his ears and his chest constricted. 

“Hey, Merlin. How do you feel?” Stephen blinked slowly, so much so Tony feared his eyes would remain closed, but then they opened again and were surprisingly lit with anger. He pressed their joined hands to his chest and smiled at the clearly furious wizard. Even on death's door, he was defiant and stubborn.

“I feel like shit. Why are you here?” Tony ignored the venom in his words; the way they pierced his skin like a knife. Stephen's voice shook painfully despite the glowing energy in those eyes. He could be angry with Tony all he wanted, for whatever reason he had; Tony wasn't leaving his side. Not again.

“Wong called and told me you were thinking of slipping off to that eternal sleep. I had to come make sure you're serious about this. There aren't any refunds or take backs.” Stephen searched past him, probably for Wong, but then Tony touched his jaw with a finger and snapped those eyes back to him. Even so pale and sickly, he was gorgeous.

“Don't look at me like that. Please. You shouldn't be here. People need you, Tony.” A laughing sob tore from his throat and he pressed Stephen's chilly hand against his cheek, never letting his gaze wander from Stephen's.

“They can wait. A wizard is dying right now, and he may not need me, but I need to be here with him. I _want_ to be here. Don't make me leave, Stephen. _Please_.” The wizard relented, another sign he was truly dying. Fresh tears fell from his eyes. He leaned forward and smoothed Stephen's hair back with the hand not occupied with holding Stephen's and choked on a sob. Concern lit the wizard's eyes instantly.

“Why are you dying, Stephen? You were fine last time I saw you. Beautiful, maybe a little exhausted, but every bit as healthy and whole as you were at the hospital. And now...now you're just a shell of that man. You're dying. Why? How?” He knew it was a lot to ask a man barely hanging on to explain what was going on, but Tony was breaking apart. He was trembling and desperate to save Stephen somehow. 

If he knew what was wrong, what the cause was, maybe he could save him still. No offense to Wong or Christine but Tony was a genius.

“I saved your life. I took your hurt and made it mine.” A trembling hand touched Tony's new appendage and then tapped his own chest. “I gave you my life.” Silence thick as a blanket fell over the room, smothering Tony. What was this idiot saying?! He couldn't possibly be serious. 

“You- Is that even _allowed?_ Why would you do something like that?!” He turned to look at Wong, uncertain if Stephen was being serious or delirious at the moment. The careful way Wong avoided his gaze was answer enough. When he turned back to Stephen, tears were falling down his ashen cheeks.

“I lied to you. Before. Tony, I do love you. So much.” His heart somehow shattered more. Now Peter came up and wrapped an arm around Tony's shoulders. Shock and grief left him paralyzed for a few seconds. The sorrow in Stephen's dull eyes lit a fire in his chest.

“You _love_ me? You use magic against me, you tell me I'm a fool who loved too easily and dreams too much, who's naive to think I could really love you, you never call or text me, and now you're here – dying – and you tell me you love me? What the hell, Stephen?!” He pulled out of Peter's embrace and collapsed against Stephen's frail body. Frustration, regret, grief, and an ocean of other emotions colliding inside and twisting his stomach into a pretzel. A trembling hand pressed into his back, barely n=any strength in it, but Tony forced himself closer as if he was being pulled in.

How long had he stood there in his office, gazing out over New York, wishing he was in the sanctum with Stephen? How often had he looked at his engagement ring and wondered what marrying Stephen would have been like?

“I needed you to move past what you thought you felt for me. I- I knew back then that I was going to die. You deserved better than what I was able to offer.” The words were whispered into his ear and his body trembled at the sensation. He pulled back slightly, taking Stephen's hand again and mustering up the hardest glare he could manage.

“I wanted you. Even now, as an engaged man, I want you. You took that from me, Stephen. You took away my choice. You hurt me. And now...now it's too late to do anything.” He turned to Wong again. Everyone was by the door in an effort to offer them privacy.

“There's no way to reverse this?” The wizard librarian shook his head, Tony's throat closing over.

“It was a forbidden spell. I don't know how he even found it, but there is no way to reverse it. Especially now.” He figured as much, but it still ached throughout his chest. His wizard was dying and there was nothing even Tony Stark could do to stop it.

“Why didn't you want me here? Don't you know how I feel about you? That I would want to be here for you?” Stephen swallowed thickly and his breaths became more faint. Tony scrambled forward to kiss his cheek, pressing himself closer, and pulled their hands out from between them so it didn't hurt Stephen.

“I hoped....you could still...be happy....without....me.” Tony hushed him. He was through talking about that now. It was senseless berating a man barely clinging to life. Tony wanted to spend whatever time was left showing the stupidly dense wizard just how much he loved him. How much he could have loved him the entire time.

“I'd be happier if you were smiling. If I was going to see you tomorrow.” He ran his hands through Stephen's hair, pressing gentle kisses to his skin, and smiled.

“Be happy, Tony. Please. That is all I ask.” Wong, Christine, and Peter finally joined them, settling on the bed near enough so Stephen could see them, but not enough to encroach on their moment. He nodded, making the promise he was somehow going to keep, and cupped Stephen's face with his hands.

“Hey, rest now. It's okay.” Stephen blinked up at him, a hint of a smile on his lips, and then turned slowly to look at the others. Trembling fingers wrapped around Tony's wrist, holding his hands in place. He traced his thumb across those pale lips.

“Wong...Christine...Peter. I love you. Don't be too sad.” His gaze, surprisingly clear and focused, landed on Peter. “Take care of your family, Pete. Especially your father.” Peter nodded, fresh tears falling as he reached out and squeezed Stephen's arm. Tony wasn't ready. He needed a few more minutes. He needed more _time_ , and wasn't it just ironic the master manipulator of time was dying before he should? 

Tony slid his mouth against Stephen's. The briefest of kisses, before nuzzling into the space between his shoulder and jaw. The others were gone and the sun was lower in the sky, painting the room in reds and golds.

“Tony, I think it's time.” He only tightened his embrace and stubbornly shook his head.

“Please, no. Stephen, do something. This isn't fair.” Fingers brushed his cheek. Tony sat back up and grabbed it before it could get away.

“Happy..” Stephen seemed to be pleading with him now, so Tony forced himself to smile and nodded.

“I know. I will. For you.” He touched Stephen's cheek and tried to commit that beautiful face to memory. His hands shook as he combed them through thick black hair, and he marveled at how soft it was to the touch.

“I love you, Stephen. I love you 3,000.” He was rewarded with a full smile, the sight swelling his heart enough it might crack his ribs, and then his face screwed up and his eyes squeezed closed. Tony lunged forward and kissed him desperately, trying to pour everything into it as Stephen's breathing became short and rapid and his body trembled under Tony's.

It was so unfair how their first and last kiss were on his deathbed.

“Please rest, Stephen. I'll be fine. I'll take care of the kid. Wong. Even your sanctum. It's been a pleasure getting to love you.” And then he was still, breath drawing out until it was gone, and then Tony really broke down. The hand he clutched lost any grip it still had, cold and terribly lifeless in his. Tony spluttered and sobbed against his neck, breathing in the last scents clinging to his skin before arms were pulling him back and tugging him into a hug. He kept his eyes on the blank gray eyes, the fluffy black hair, the pale skin bathed in sunlight.

“Mister Stark.” Peter was rubbing his hair and embracing him. Wong came and closed Stephen's eyes, while Christine checked for his pulse for the last time. Tony couldn't seem to look away from Stephen's face. One minute ago, he was alive. It was insane.

“Mister Stark, they have to move him.” He fought out of the kid's grip and pushed Wong back.

“Let me.” Wong clearly wanted to protest but seemed to think better of it. Smart.

“We have to take him to Kamar-Taj. He will have a proper Sorcerer Supreme funeral. The new sorcerer will be there to honor him.” He glanced at Tony and Peter. “You are also invited. Come.”

-

A week later passed in a slow haze. Pepper fussed over him constantly, Peter brought him snacks and stories from his school to cheer him up, and Rhodey took over his responsibilities without a word. The Avengers visited him one by one, at first wondering why he was ignoring his duties to the team, and then to comfort him in his apparent grief. Harley, the kid back in Tennessee, flew up to visit him out of the blue.

(He suspected FRIDAY and Pepper were behind that. He was happy all the same.)

No one asked him _why_ he was grieving, and since they had not heard of Stephen's passing yet, there was no way to connect the two, so at least that was safely kept between him, Peter, Wong, and Christine. Pepper was the only one to really try, but he refused to talk about it, instead curling in his chair with a bowl of soup and staring into the broth like it might show him any answers.

He finally got out of the house to visit the sanctum. Wong ushered him inside, grief apparent in his face, and once the door closed he pulled Tony into a hug. Tony returned it fiercely.

“Ah, this must be Stark.” He jerked back to find a rather large dark-skinned man standing there, wearing sorcerer's robes and a cloak of his own. Levi, Stephen's cloak, was at Kamar-Taj for the students to study.

Jericho. Right.

“I saw you at the gathering, but I never had the chance to speak with you.” He paused, brows scrunching. “You were Strange's....partner?” 

“No. I was- I was a close friend. It is nice to meet you, Mister Drumm. How are you handling the position?” The new sanctum guardian smiled.

“It's certainly daunting. I don't know how Strange did it like he did. Everyone speaks highly of him. I have big shoes to fill.” Tony felt tears gather in his eyes, but he blinked them away stubbornly. He couldn't cry in front of this man. No, he needed to be strong. He was supposed to be happy.

“Well, I wish you well. If you need anything, the Avengers are around. Give us a call.” He turned to Wong. “Do you mind if I...” Wong guided him towards the stairs and pointed in the direction opposite of Stephen's room.

“The bedroom goes to the master of the sanctum, but I figured you would return, so I moved most of Stephen's things into a guest room. Don't linger, Stark.” Tony nodded and crept down the hall. Once he found the room, he stood there and tried to pull himself together.

The room was far smaller than the previous, the bed and bookcase crammed inside along with Stephen's side table. On it was an envelope. He glanced around and approached the table, ready to attack if needed, and snatched the envelope up. It had his name written on it. He dropped onto the bed and opened it slowly.

It was from Stephen. He recognized the handwriting from some translated books he'd seen on Stephen's desk when visiting for a checkup. That seemed like ages ago. It was a letter he must have written in better health.

_Dear Tony,_

_If you're reading this, then I was successful in saving your arrogant ass from death again. It also means I'm probably gone. This was my plan from the moment I dropped to the ground after using the Time Stone to view those possible futures. Hopefully, Wong will explain it all to you. I'm writing this to explain my actions that night you came to the sanctum. The night I used magic on you._

_I want to apologize for that. I hate using magic to manipulate people, especially when they don't deserve it, but it was the only way to make sure you never wanted to come back. I needed you to stay away. I am also sorry for the mean things I said to you, the way I mocked you and hurt your feelings._

_You may be angry with me while reading this, and I deserve that, but I still hope you can accept my apology._

_Something I didn't realize was how long you've felt the way you do about me. I'm sure you don't any more thanks to my actions, but you did. I'm sorry about that too. Anyway, when I went through your thoughts, pulling memories out, I guess I wasn't prepared for all the ones from when Thanos was still seeking my Time Stone. I knew something happened during the five years, but you honestly held onto a passing wink?_

_(Please read that with humor. I find that charming.)_

_I need to confess something. I lied to you that night. Everything was a performance to make you leave. I was hoping to snap you out of caring for me like you did. Was I successful? I truly hope so. You deserve better._

_I needed you to move on because I'm dying. Not from any Earthly sickness. No, it's mystic in nature. The way I saved your life was by magically removing the damaging gamma radiation from your body and placing it in mine. With my magic, I knew I could hold it off longer than you, and even if I couldn't, you needed to live. There is so much here for you, Tony. Your family. Your friends. The world would miss you far too much. I couldn't take you away from Peter. The doctor in me wouldn't when I knew I could do something._

_The trouble is, Tony, that it was with Dark Dimension power. The spell is forbidden and dangerous. I knew the risks. They are worth it to keep you here another fifty or so years. I even gave you some of my life, so maybe you'll live past 100!_

_I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your family. Please take care of yourself, Tony. I did what I did so that you can live the life you were meant to. Don't make me come from the beyond and force you to sleep._

_I wish there was another way. I wish I could have been the man you saw me as- the man you loved. I know it's far too late, but I do love you. Be happy. Take care._

_With a Love Eternal_   
_Stephen_

Tony folded up the letter and wipe the tears away, though they weren't all tears of grief. Some were specifically spawned from anger. Stephen was going to tell him everything in a _letter_?! A freaking letter written long before his passing, probably to be sent long after he was gone. Either Stephen thought he did one hell of a job breaking Tony's heart – enough that Tony would hate him – or he didn't think Tony really loved him all that much to begin with.

Somehow, Wong knew. Stephen hadn't asked for Tony at all that day; Wong invited him because he knew Tony and Stephen needed to talk it out. He knew, somehow, that Tony needed to see Stephen before he died.

“Tony.” He nearly shot his repulsor gun at the sound of that familiar voice. He blinked at the radiant blue eyes, albeit more faded than before, a warm smile.

“St-Stephen?” The wizard nodded.

“I see you got my letter. I would have preferred for you to find out that way than how you did. It would have been easier for you. Better for us both.” Tony shook his head and tossed the letter aside. 

“No. It would have made me angry. I would have hated you, Stephen. Do you still not see it?” The wizard joined him on the bed, though he avoided Tony's eyes. He wished he could touch Stephen again.

“I know you're still mourning. I thought you promised to be happy.” Tony scratched his fingers through his ungroomed facial hair.

“Stephen, have you ever lost someone you loved?” He nodded. “Were you able to be happy with them gone? Especially when it was so sudden?”

“Tony, how can you still find it in you to care about me? Love me?” 

“Because, contrary to what you may think, I genuinely loved you. It wasn't something I could bury or replace, even if I wanted to so badly. You hurt me, Stephen. Broke my heart. And when I heard you were dying, all the anger I heaped on that burning love just melted away and I decided it was stupid of me to keep on. You were dying. It felt like I was being ripped apart.”

“I don't deserve that. And you don't deserve this.” Tony waved off his words, annoyed with that stupid word in Stephen's mouth.

“You keep saying that. I hate to break it to you, but whether you think we _deserve_ it or not doesn't change how I feel. How we feel.” Stephen glared.

“I was trying to save you the grief, Tony. I was dying the second I used that spell. You would have lost me before we could even properly get into a relationship. I wanted you too, but I couldn't be so selfish; not again. You deserve someone who can be there for you. Who wouldn't have responsibilities and commitments to sorcery and a pending death sentence.” Tony gestured around them, frustration mounting and lashing out.

“I'm still grieving, even with your stupid plan.”

“Only because Wong intervened.” Tony sighed.

“Stephen, why didn't you just tell me all this from the beginning? We could have figured it out or something.” The wizard reached out and caressed his face, and while Tony couldn't feel it, his heart stuttered at the touch. He missed Stephen so much.

“Because you would have begged me to reverse it or tried to fix it. You would have gladly abandoned your life for me at the time. I could tell. You are just too important to the world to throw it away for me.” It wasn't fair. Stephen had these insane ideas, and there was nothing Tony could do or say to change anything. Stephen never gave him a chance.

“So this is _better_?! I'm torn apart anyway. Peter is still grieving someone he looked up to; someone he saw as a friend and as family. I'm still not doing the work I should be. Only now you're gone. I mean, is this really better?” Stephen nodded and there was a hint of a smile.

“You are strong. You can move on, Tony. Peter will too. If I allowed you to really love me, it would be so much worse.” He glanced at the door. “I have to go. But I'll visit again. Goodbye.”

-

Stephen stepped through the door. He knew he was supposed to move on, allow his soul to rest, but he was having a hard time doing so while knowing Tony and Peter were still heartbroken over him. He was surprised Peter was as grief-stricken as he was, moping around school and home even months later. Tony's grief was still palpable in the rooms he entered, and he still refused to do more than visit the sanctum and tinker in the workshop. Stephen figured Tony would hate him at this point, so seeing that day in his bedroom, tears falling and heartbreak all over his face had been a surprise.

A terrible one.

“Oh. Hi, Stephen. One moment.” Tony pulled on a suit jacket and straightened his tie. Stephen could admit to himself that the man was a sight in those designer suits he loved. He was already ridiculously handsome, but in an Armani? With an expensive watch and those ridiculous Stark-Tech glasses?

Could astral beings get turned on?

“What are you doing? Is this a bad time?” Tony whipped away from the mirror and hurried to where Stephen stood. Well, floated. It was clear Tony was tipping into panic.

“No! Don't leave. Please. Not yet.” Stephen nodded slowly. “This may sound stupid and suspiciously like not-moving-on, but I need you to just give me this. One thing and I'll keep my promise.” Stephen swallowed and tried to joke to lighten the mood. To make Tony smile at least.

“Astral beings can't have sex.” Tony glared at him.

“How would you know? Did you...?” Stephen gave up and shook his head, repressing a smile.

“No, Tony. What do you want me to do?”

They ended up on the roof, a table for two but set for one. Tony shuffled next to him, fingers playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. The sun was setting, painting the sky in orange and pink. Stephen sighed. He was going to miss New York.

“I want to have a date. Just one. One date with you.” They sat at the table, Tony not pulling his eyes away even as he started to eat. Stephen touched his own face.

“I know it's not really possible, but is there something on my face?” 

“No. You look absolutely perfect. Gosh, I'm going to miss you.” Stephen gentled his hand against Tony's cheek. He knew the touch wouldn't be felt, but he couldn't help it. Tony purred into it regardless, eye shimmering with open love and admiration. 

“What about Pepper?” Tony swallowed his bite and fiddled with the fork.

“I don't know. It feels wrong being with her when I can only think of you. But she's always been there, you know? And I do love her. It's just not the same.” Stephen did not allow himself to be jealous. This was about Tony and his happiness. He had his shot.

“Right.” Tony finished his food and sat back, his gaze trailing down at a snail's pace.

“How is it even as a ghost, you're hot? It's not right.” That startled a laugh out of Stephen. Then he realized Tony wasn't joking. The heat in his gaze, the way he wet his lips and shifted in his seat, and the small circular patterns he was drawing on the table all pointed to one thing. Stephen dropped his gaze, flattered and regretful.

“Um.”

“I wish we had. Just once. Just so I could know. So I could remember.” Stephen sighed.

“I'm so sorry, Tony.” He shook his head, smile soft despite the hunger and want in his eyes. At least he had Pepper to...

He stopped that thought right there.

“Water under the bridge, babe. Thank you for this. I appreciate it, Stephen. Really, you don't know how much this means to me. How long I've wanted this.” The sun was out of the sky, stars glittering to life. Stephen blinked up at them, feeling heavy and reluctant.

“I love you, Tony.” That gave the man pause.

“Are you...leaving?” No. Yes. Oh, this was going to be far more difficult than he ever anticipated. Tony's beautiful eyes called to him, preventing him from feeling ready to move on. He had no choice, though. In his death or moving on.

“I don't want to, but I will have to. I can't malinger any longer.” Tony nodded, a tear finding a way into his neatly trimmed goatee.

“Don't stay for me, Stephen. I'll be okay now.” Stephen knew he would be. He knew the world had something special in Tony Stark. Still, he could give the man he loved one last thing. He stood and leaned down to speak directly into Tony's ear.

“I know, _Anthony_.” Tony jerked back and blinked owlishly at him. Red flooded his cheeks and he looked so cute as flustered as he was.

“That should not be that sexy. Geeze, Stephen.”

-

Tony watched Stephen fade before his eyes, humor and love glowing like candlelight as he gazed at Tony. It was everything he needed to move on. Well, right after he took care of a little...business.

Who knew someone could look so delicious in an astral body? Stephen defied logic in so many ways. Tony adjusted his pants and called on someone to clean the mess from their date, which, had Stephen been alive, would have certainly ended in the bedroom. Especially with how keyed up he felt.

After that night, he committed more to Pepper, Peter, and Harley. He got married, forcing his mind to focus on Pepper and her beautiful smile instead of imagining Stephen there. He moved the family to a cabin away from the city, and soon Pepper was pregnant. Twins. Peter and Harley lived in the house as well, helping them prepare for the coming babies. Stephen drifted into his thoughts often, though not enough to hinder him in his relationship with Pepper. The sting of loss was fading the longer time moved on.

When a boy and a girl were born, Pepper named the girl Morgan.

“And the boy?” Tony stared down at the baby, wrapped in a blue blanket and sleeping so peacefully. He knew the name he wanted, but was it weird? Pepper watched him.

“Tony? How about 'Stephen'?” He looked at her fully, something in her eyes telling him she wasn't as oblivious to his secret as he hoped. He smiled.

“I think that's perfect. Stephen Anthony Stark.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


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